This election was the first time I voted at an actual polling location. Since election days were usually travel days for me in the Secret Service, I was always an absentee voter. This time, I participated in early voting at a local shopping mall. I was excited as I stood in line. It felt like my first time voting. I sat in the little booth smiling like a little kid as I filled in my bubbles, smirking at the fact that Kanye West was actually an option on the ballot. I thought it was joke when others mentioned it. Guess not. I grinned from ear to ear as the lady stamped my ballot and handed me the “I Voted” sticker. #American
“I don’t want to talk about the election. I stay away from political topics.”
This is usually my answer when people ask me about politics, and, specifically, this election. I think this country has morphed into a place where those conversations are unlikely to remain civil, especially if they occur on the Internet where anyone and everyone behind a keyboard can become a rude, sniveling pile of hate to one another.
I’ve stayed off of Facebook for most of the week. At first, the divisive comments and political memes irritated me. I think most Americans are very ignorant about the inner workings of their own government and even their own parties. This includes myself. Just because I was in the Secret Service doesn’t mean I’m informed. Protection is largely logistics, not government policy. Of course, I’ve seen some “stuff”. But I’m also the first to admit that I have done a poor job at keeping myself informed, and I’m ashamed of that. I can do better, and I tried to do better this time.
Once I got over my irritation, I got angry. I watched and read as friends attacked friends for their political beliefs online. I saw family members clash in the comments sections. I saw opinions and insults being flung like confetti, many ultimately landing in “unfriended” and “blocked” and even “muted” heaps, hatred steaming from the piles of charred relationships.
But the more I thought about what I was seeing, I realized I’m not really irritated or angry. I’m purely saddened by it all.
This is not the America I know. I’m not trying to be controversial here. I’m saddened that our right to free speech and the freedom to express opinions has been utilized in this way because it’s clearly missing the mark when it comes to unity.
There is very little “united” about the United States of America right now (if Facebook is any indication).
I’ve been blessed to have had some very informative and polite conversations with loved ones about this election. I wish all this opportunity because I’ve learned a lot this week about both sides of the aisle. Within the course of one conversation I had last night, I said this:
“I miss the America of September 12, 2001.”
Allow me to explain. If you’re old enough to remember 9/11 and understand the significance of that event, you can probably recall a lot of the same things I recall as a teenager seeing those events unfold on my television screen.
I did not go to swim practice the morning of 9/11 because it was my parents’ anniversary and my dad took the day off work to be with family. I had just started my senior year of high school and was about to turn seventeen in a couple weeks. I was up early eating breakfast at our house in Apple Valley, California. My parents had taken the dogs for a walk. My sister was still in bed. I had the news playing in the background. I don’t remember what channel. And then the Breaking News alerts started coming.
I recognized the World Trade Center’s Twin Towers because my family had just visited New York City a year or two prior. I had taken pictures of the buildings with a disposable camera as we rode the ferry. A plane had flown into one of the towers.
“This is bad.” My naïve high-school mind was racing. I went out the front door to see if I could see my parents coming back from their walk. I saw them round the corner, and I started running toward them.
“Mom! Dad! Something bad has happened! A plane flew into one of those towers in New York City!”
We rushed back into the house and I pointed to the television precisely as a plane flew into the second tower. It didn’t register at first that this wasn’t a replay of the first strike. It was live television, and the second tower had just been hit.
That day was a whirlwind. The towers began to fall. The Pentagon was hit. My mom frantically tried to reach her best friend who worked in the Pentagon. Her friend was running late to work that day and watched the plane crash into her workplace, killing many of her colleagues.
I remember watching President George W. Bush’s facial expression change as he heard the news while meeting with children at a school. That drastic change of expression could be felt across the country as word of the attack spread. I remember watching journalists breaking down on live television. I remember “the falling man” and hearing the terrible thuds as frightened people hit the concrete after jumping to their deaths.
That was a terrible day.
Six years later, I would learn that many of my instructors in the Secret Service academy were in NYC on 9/11. The New York Field Office was in the World Trade Center. Many of my instructors had received awards and honors following their rescue efforts. Not one of them ever mentioned it to us in class. We saw their names on the lists and heard the stories from others. They lived that event. I merely witnessed it on a television screen as a teenager.
So why do I miss the America of September 12, 2001? Wasn’t that the day after a horrific event in its history? Yes. But the America that woke up on September 12, 2001 was a different America. It was an America that, for a period of time, was arguably more united than it had been in a long time. It was an America that wanted the President and the government to respond in the best way for the country as a whole. It was an America that (for the most part) rallied together, at least that was my mentality as a young girl who wasn’t even old enough to vote yet. I didn’t care about political party affiliation. I cared about my country and the protection of all its citizens.
If I have anything to say about the current state of America, it’s this: I sincerely want whoever leads the country to make the country better. Regardless of who I voted for or didn’t vote for, I don’t wish for any President to fail at making and keeping America strong, prosperous, united, equal, peaceful, welcoming, safe, and healthy.
Political parties clashing is nothing new. This is not the first election in modern history with a disputed outcome. It’s not the first time we as citizens have attacked each other for our personal political beliefs. It’s not the first time families have become divided over political differences. It’s not the first time friends have become enemies due to politics.
America has serious problems. All sides of the aisle can probably agree to that. The past year has magnified many of the lingering problems that should have been addressed long ago.
I sincerely hope that 2020 is ultimately a year that gets the ball of real and lasting change rolling. I’m deeply saddened by 2020, and I’m deeply saddened that so many Americans are naïve enough to think their malicious and hateful comments toward each other are NOT part of the problem.
I know I’m not providing anything monumentally insightful here today, but I can’t help but reflect on events of the past that really impacted me and hope there is a day in the very near future where we can remember the red, white, and blue rather than just calling out who leans more red or who leans more blue. I think all of us can agree there’s a lot at stake and a lot that needs to be changed and reformed. This will take time.
You know what else takes time? Carefully crafted hateful rants on Facebook. What a waste of passionate energy. They’re anything but meaningful, and what’s said on the Internet lasts forever.
Let your actions reflect the change you want to see after a really tough year. I’m reminded that there’s much I can do to be a better, more informed American right where I am today.