Lessons from a Tired October
For this week’s issue of Bad Blogging, I’ve decided to look back at the last month and pinpoint some of the things I’ve learned. October is almost over, and so is 2019. Some of these October Lessons might seem a bit obvious. If they are to you, then laugh and heckle me next time you seen me. As always, I’m not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed, and I’m not an expert at adulting.
Without further ado, here’s what October 2019 has taught me.
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I’ve always wanted to build one of those shipping container houses. It’s my Bucket List item that has its own Pinterest board full of elaborately stacked shipping containers turned into unique, aka industrial chic, homes. I have dozens of design ideas and visions of a finished product. The initial design process and the finished product bring the excitement. The implementation of that finished product, coupled with cost, bring the difficulties. Construction is the hard part and takes the most time and energy.
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I’m just going to keep this real from the beginning: I’ve been pretty down lately.
My life is definitely NOT going as planned, and I find myself regularly questioning whether I’ve made the right choices in recent months and years. I left Los Angeles in June 2017, the place I called home, completely sure leaving was the right move for me. And, trust me, I fought that feeling for a while. My life had been through enough crazy changes already. Why couldn’t geography be the one thing that stayed the same? My job situation changed abruptly, leaving me in a position I promised I’d never walk into again. Another human being – like upper management in Washington D.C. – would never have that much power over my future and my life.
I’m taking control, I said at the time.
Regardless of upper management, I knew I was making the right decision to leave that six-figure job and start over. I set out to write a book, the first one by a modern-day female Secret Service agent.
I’ve been operating under the assumption that my dream of becoming a legitimate author has fallen apart.
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Life goes on no matter how you handle it. One of my best friends told me that recently. Sometimes you have to take a moment and realize time doesn’t stop for grief and healing. Eventually, you need to move on with it.
I can choose to dwell on the past and stay sad and angry, or I can choose to let it go and find the joy and peace I want despite the baggage of my past. I’m tired of being sad and angry. That’s not who I really am.
I’m choosing to let it go.
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I’m not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed, and I’m not an expert at anything. But one thing I’ve learned, especially in the past couple years, is that life is guaranteed to clobber me with plot twists. They’re bound to mess with my carefully laid plans. Accepting and adjusting is the tough part because it’s easy to dwell on the past. It was a healing day when I realized that if I kept looking back while trying to move forward, I was either going to turn into a pillar of salt (Wait, that was Lot’s wife, right?), or I was going to run into something and hurt myself again.
In my 33 years on this planet, I’ve learned a few things, most of them the hard way, and some of them because I was in the right place at the right time.
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